A Journal entry of Magnus Bane
by Peculiiar
Summary: So  this takes place in the middle of City of Fallen Angels and *SPOILERS SPOILERS*  when Alec's mad at Magnus because Magnus won't turn Alec into a immortal. Alec really bothers me in this book and i think hes being really selfish and i love Magnus so ya
1. Magnus' Entry

**One shot. I do now own The Mortal Instruments***

**Magnus Bane's journal from the time in the middle of City of Fallen Angels~~**

**So I kind of really love Magnus and Alec really bothers because he's stupid and doesn't understand. So I wrote this, thinking of Magnus ranting in a leather bound book in his glittery room (Y) I don't know why, but its quite a "Magnus" moment for me. Hope you like it~**

**Review?**

I really don't understand his logic. Doesn't he understand? I want him to live with me forever, of course I do. I love Alec, but he just doesn't understand. I don't want to put that curse on him, the curse of immortality. I mean, every few decades or so, you watch everyone you love die. I don't want to put him through that, like I've been putting up with for 600 years. Why can't he see I'm trying to protect him? I don't get it! But he'll see. When he's on death's doorstep, he'll understand. He'll understand the beauty of death, and how lucky he is that he was born a mortal, unlike me. Plus, when you're a warlock, everyone has a natural strong dislike for you, just because you're part demon. That's probably one of the only reasons. They hate you, because demons are the things shadowhunters are trying to rid the world of, and we're here; mocking them. I mean, why not kill us warlocks also? Our living in general is just a casual reminder that we're still here, still on the planet and there's nothing you can do about it, because the Clave forbids the killing of downworlders or Humans. Since you know, we're half human, which makes us part mundane, but also part demon, which make's us a type of downworlder. Anyway, I don't want people hating Alec like that. He's the sweetest person I've met in the longest time, and I treasure his pure heart, and don't want to waste a precious life and soul like Alec's. Alec Lightwood. Whoever thought he would ever be mine… I must be the luckiest man on earth, to get someone as wonderful as Alec. But if I told him that, he wouldn't believe me, and that thought brings tears to my cat eyes. I don't understand, I don't understand…. I'm such a wreck... and when he accused me of sleeping with Will... that hurt more then i can was like he came and pierced my heart with a seraph blade... Can't he understand that I can't live by myself? Did he really think i could live my whole life waiting for one person to come along? Of course not! Can't he understand that I love him? Clearly not because he's not talking to me now and im not sure why. I love Alec, and isn't that all that matters? Apparently not. I don't understand what he's thinking. I love him more then I've loved anyone else; and that happens to be a lot of people. I want to explain to him so badly, but I know it will only make him angrier, so I keep my thought to myself. Sometimes i wonder though, what his reply would be if i sat him down, and told him this. I guess I'll never know. I don't have the guts to tell him, as much as i want to.

-Magnus Bane

***What'd you think? I know… really short… but still… review~! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to suggestion of Chalseoko, I am now going to write a reply from Alec. Here's the back up story: Alec found Magnus' book, and read the last entry, which is the one I just wrote in the previous chapter. And Alec gets all worked up because he feels awful but he's also mad cause Magnus talks about him like he's really emotionless and selfish; so clearly he can't tell that the entry is totally full of love. Also, he writes the reply in Magnus' book. Stupid move Alec stupid move…**

**Soo ya wanna review?**

Dear Magnus,

I hope you realize that I love you. Don't think I don't. But I think you need to stop thinking about the disadvantages and start thinking about the advantages. They quite overpower the disadvantages, if you ask me. Anyway, if you put the spell on me, you'll never have to watch me die, and I will never say good-bye to you, unless you no longer love me at some period in time. I guess I was being a bit unfair with the Will and Camille situation, but can you blame me Magnus? You've probably loved at least 100 people where as I've only loved two people in my entire lifetime, Jace and well, you. And yes, I know you've been alive for a really long time, but you can't expect me to not be surprised Magnus. Please try to see my side, as I am trying so hard to see yours. Also, please do not get angry with me for looking through your book. If it helps, I only looked at the last entry. Besides, I'm not sure I want to see your entries before I came into your life… Anyways, I only looked through because I was looking for my black sweater in your room, and your book fell from your desk, and it fell open, and well, I was curious. Sorry. But I'm glad I found and read the entry, for I understand much more now. However, I must say Magnus I'm quite angry that you weren't going to tell me, for I completely understand everything you mentioned in the entry. Do not fret; I won't ignore you for this, for I can see the logic in your reasoning. Also, sorry for not telling you that I was coming to your house. It was quite last minute, for Izzy and I were going to see a movie and I didn't have any sweaters, so I used my key to grab it. I knocked first to see if you were home, if that makes you feel better, but you weren't there so I just let myself in. Also, I took the book home with me because I didn't have enough time to write while

I was still at your house, because Izzy was waiting for me. Do not forget, I will love you forever and ever, until I leave this earth and you stay here and find someone else. When I look down from heaven and I see you happy, that will be all I need, for I will still love you Magnus. (However, I would prefer to stay here with you, if you would like that)

Forever yours,

Alec Lightwood. 

**What did you think~~? Ok soo, at first I really loved Alec, but he started getting all, well, BLEH in City of Fallen Angels, and I hope this showed that as much as I hoped it would. I put that last sentence in brackets there cause I thought it would get Magnus either mad, or make him laugh I don't know :P **

**Review~~**


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